This week on Sex Files, we talked about men who look for their sex the paid way: with prostitutes.
To help us, we had relationship expert and sexologist Logan Levkoff with us in the New York studio. Logan is author of Third Base Ain't What it Used to Be. Also on the phone with us was Kim Airs, a sex expert who has experience of a different kind: While working at Harvard, she used to have sex with men for money and is proud of it! (Their links are below in our previous post).
Both guests helped us navigate the waters of the topic as we talked about who is paying for sex and where. One statistic we dug up: 15% to 16% of men have paid prostitutes for sex. That number got us a few calls: Some from men who thought the number was far too low. And some from guys who thought it was too high!
And when one caller said he lived in the Midwest and didn't have access to prostitutes as easily, as, say, someone in Las Vegas might, Kim attributed the varying opinions on that number to just that: location, location, location.
Logan and Kim then helped us come up with our final feeling on the matter: For those of you guys who have considered paying for sex but don't want to stray from your relationship to do it, here are some ways to make your sex life at home feel just as exciting as sex you pay for:
1. If this is a fantasy of yours, find a way to express this to your partner. Logan suggests using media to help you: If you are watching a movie where this takes place (is Pretty Woman on cable, guys?) ask her what she thinks it would be like to be a woman paid for sex, and go from there...
2. Role play the experience. Meet your partner out, pretend to "proposition" her as you would a prostitute, then bring her home and do all the things you wish you could.
3. Negotiate a "fee" with your partner without leaving the house, and have her decide what you will get for your "money." Playing the role as if she's doing it for money might make your wife of 10 years feel like a sex kitten she never was before.
Finally, if you are ever paying for sex or plan to in the future, we have one thing to say: Unlike the former New York governor Eliot Spitzer who was reported to request sex without it: Please, use protection. Of course, that's true of whatever sex you're having outside of a monogamous, pre-tested relationship. Always safe, never sorry!