Sex, Unmasked

You guys best get excited. Because this Wednesday, we have none other than Mary Roach as our guest. Roach, hailed as the "funniest science writer in the country" by The New Yorker, is the best-selling author of Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife, both bestsellers.

Luckily, Roach next decided to turn her sharp mind and unique wit to Maxim listeners' favorite topic: sex. Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex covers such topics as penile transplants and internal orgasms, among many other things. And not only did Roach participate in a sex study (along with her husband) as part of her research but she also manages to approach the birds and the bees from a clinical yet wry perspective.

And who can't benefit from that?

Tune into the Sex Files live on Sirius Maxim Channel 108, Wednesday at 2 p.m. EST (11 a.m. Pacific). The show replays at 11 p.m. EST (8 p.m. Pacific) and throughout the weekend.

Sex on the First Date Debate: The Conclusion

So what did we learn from our "Sex on the First Night Debate"? Well, let's see.

We had two well-known sex and relationship writers, Sascha Rothchild and Elise Nersesian, as our guests and all four of us chimed in on the time-honored ritual of putting out immediately.

Our anecdotes varied (Sascha spoke of a Ninja she bedded who charmed the literal pants off of her before disappearing into the night, Elise of a man who she waited many dates to sleep with who also pulled a cut and run, Amy of the fact that she needs to be really comfortable with a guy to even enjoy sex anyway so she rarely even has the desire to bed down right away and Anna of the guy she slept with on the first night because she felt he was so good-looking that she would rather give him a reason to blow her off immediately than have to deal with really trying to date him). The ultimate conclusion? There is no right answer.

Some callers opined that if they like someone, when she chooses to let him in doesn't make a bit of difference while others admitted that they operate under the old double standard and lose respect for her but keep some for themselves if she gives it up that first night.

But the caller who probably summed everything up the best was the one who simply begged us to stop overanalyzing everything.

Tune into the Sex Files live on Sirius Maxim Channel 108, Wednesday at 2 p.m. EST (11 a.m. Pacific). The show replays at 11 p.m. EST (8 p.m. Pacific) and throughout the weekend.

The "Sex on the 1st Date Debate!"

Now we're pretty sure that when most of you guys go on a date with a girl, you have an ideal plan in mind.

Maybe it starts with some cocktails, maybe a bite to eat, maybe a quick stop to listen to your friend's band play some live music.

Yet for most of you, your ideal date ends in the same place: in bed.

(Not all of you, of course, but most of you.)





But we women? Well, we're torn on that one.

On one side are the girls who say, "Why not? Just do it!"
On the other side are ones who say, "No way, Jose!" (or Bob, or John, or Mark or Nate or Titus or Greg...)

Well, we want to work this out and decide what to do once and for all. And we'll be talking about that this week during our "Sex on the 1st Date Debate!" Find out what side Amy & Anna are on, and call in with your own thoughts at 888-99-MAXIM.

Tune into the Sex Files live on Sirius Maxim Channel 108, Wednesday at 2 p.m. EST (11 a.m. Pacific). The show replays at 11 p.m. EST (8 p.m. Pacific) and throughout the weekend.

Say It Isn't True, Guys!

If you missed out on the show this week, try to catch a replay. It was a fun one! Our guests for the week were Phil and David — formerly known as Smith & Doe. They are the authors of the book What Men Don't Want Women to Know.

It was an, ahem, interesting list, to say the least. On the top of it? A statistic the authors got from interviewing 18,000 guys: Phil & David say that 96.4 percent of men have cheated, are cheating or will cheat. Ouch. As you can imagine, we girls didn't buy that high of a number. But the guys persisted with this analogy:

Phil said, basically: Let's say a guy is walking down the street and a hot girl approaches them, saying, "Hi, I'm going out of town tomorrow, and I have a fancy hotel room upstairs, and I'd like to give you great free oral sex for 10 minutes..." They claim no man would turn a deal like that down because there is no chance of being caught, and because the act of cheating sex itself is as benign to guys as eating a hamburger. They say it's true no matter how devoted he is. Hmm, we still don't buy it.

But more important, asked Anna, "Where the heck are all these women who approach men to give free oral sex with fancy hotel rooms rented upstairs?!"

And I want to know: What kind of hamburger?


We got a mad influx of listener calls (at 888-99-MAXIM as always) that ranged from proponents who said, "They're right on!" to a guy who called them way off and real "jokers." One caller then berated them for breaking the guy code and spilling the secret beans.

Now, Anna & I couldn't help but disagree with most of the things Phil and David said (Hey, we're women and proponents of strong relationships built on monogamy and faithfulness and trust...remember those?) But we had to admit, they made a few good points. (But don't worry, Amy was not officially "converted" to the Smith & Doe way!)

One is that the reason most men cheat is that they are searching out what David called "profound newness." Our advice? Create this profound newness at home with your partner. You can do this by trying new positions, doing it new rooms, or taking a special night or weekend to get away from the boring home environment you're used to. It can do wonders for a stale sex life.

Another interesting point they guys made? As David put it, "Fear does wonders for a relationship." While we don't agree you should be on edge about your partners whereabouts at all times, we do think you should treat your relationship like you're going to lose it — in other words, with great care and kindness. (And that goes for men and women.) Be proactive about your relationship. Keep on it. Stay close. And keep those lines of communication open.

Hey, what better way to avoid your partner encountering someone on the street with a fancy hotel room upstairs...

Tune in again next week to the Sex Files on Sirius Maxim channel 108. We're live every Wednesday at 2 p.m. EST (11 a.m. Pacific) for more great love and sex insight from the girls who can double your chances at pleasure!

What Men Don't Want Women to Know

Yes, we know it's weird that as women, we're telling you what it is that men don't want us to know. Don't ever say we don't pull off miracles for you guys!

The co-authors of the best-selling What Men Don't Want Women to Know: The Secrets, The Lies, The Unspoken Truth will be our in-studio guests on Wednesday, April 16th. Though their identities still remain a secret -- their lives may well be at risk by disclosing such top-secret information -- we will get them to tell us what it is they say is true for their gender.

You're not going to want to miss this one...if only so you can call in and defend yourself!

The Motion of the Ocean

Try this one on for size: It doesn't matter.

That's right. Forget what you learned from those snippets of Sex and the City that you caught, forget those nagging thoughts...

What we talked about on the April 8th show was the fact that most women know that it's not what you've got but what you do with it that matters.

Our first guest, Mason Love, discussed male and female sexual partners she's had and gave tips on using other body parts in bed -- namely, the hands (her motto: "Get inside, stay inside.")

Sex and relationship counselor and best-selling author Ian Kerner, Ph.D. joined in halfway through the show and urged listeners to get cliterate -- in other words, to educate themselves about female sexuality, which will in turn give them confidence in the sack. Dr. Kerner pointed out that the nerve endings in the clitoris that are the most responsive are closest to the outside, clarifying once and for all the fact that bigger definitely isn't always better.

One of the listeners who called in wanted to find out how to get his kissing groove back (prescription: getting back on the horse and remembering that every woman is different so he should just do what he likes -- but also remember not to neglect the lips) and another talked about premature ejaculation, a specialty of Kerner's (you can read one of his written-out answers to a question like this here).

Be sure to check out Ian Kerner's many books (his latest is Sex Detox: Recharge Desire, Revitalize Intimacy, Rejuvenate Your Love Life) and, of course, to tune back into Sex Files on Sirius Maxim Channel 108 next Wednesday at 2 pm EST (11 am PT) for the latest information and insights on sex and love...

Coming This Week...

You know what they say: It's not the size of the ship...it's the motion of the ocean. And it's true!

On our next show, we will tell you WHY it doesn't matter how big, small, skinny, short or tall you—or your favorite body part—are. It's what you do with it all that matters. So tune in for some tips on how to get the motion of her ocean rocking.


Tune into the Sex Files on Sirius Maxim Channel 108, Wednesdays at 2 p.m. EST (11 a.m. PT) to hear us discuss how you can get it more and get it better.

Turning Her On...And Not Turning Her Off

April 2, 2008: Our guest on this week's Sex Files was the super sharp (and supergorgeous) Lauren Frances, PH Double D:

Lauren is a love coach and author of Dating, Mating and Manhandling: The Ornithological Guide to Men, a book that, while written to give women insights on how to attract and land a man, is also helpful to you males — because if you know what a woman is learning to snare you, you'll earn insight into what to look for, and how to turn her on.

Lauren provided heaps of great insight. One of the most important is the first thing you should do on a first date. "Guys," she says, "compliment a woman within 2 minutes of meeting her." Why? Well, you may think that holding back will put you in a power position or make you seem coolor, but the fact is, says Lauren, "all women are insecure about their bodies. Even supermodels." So when you see your date walking down the stairs toward you, find something to compliment about her within those first 2 minutes. And by the way, the old standby — "Wow...you look gorgeous" — always works.

But if it's a Playboy model you're trying to compliment, go for an unexpected compliment, like, "Hey, you're really smart." Or take Anna's advice that will make any woman feel clever: When she asks a question, say, "Wow, that's a really good question." Because the better she feels about herself, the more likely you'll both feel better...together.

Check out Lauren's site at www.Laurenfrancesphdd.com

And tune into the Sex Files on Sirius Maxim channel 108 next Wednesday at 2 p.m. EST (11 a.m. PT) for more great love and sex insight from the girls who can double your chances at pleasure!